


No One Messes With Me! (Enemies)

by NerdyTrashyFunny



Series: Kylux - From Enemies to Friends to Lovers [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anger, Awkward, Fighting, Hate, Hux is scared for his life, Kylo takes advantage, M/M, Minor Violence, Revenge, Storage Room, constant swearing, find the fall out boy reference, impractical robes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 14:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5669938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyTrashyFunny/pseuds/NerdyTrashyFunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are certain people on Starkiller Base no one should mess with. If you do, you probably have a death wish. Or you're Hux who just made a terrible mistake.<br/>Awkward situation with Kylo and Hux ensues!</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One Messes With Me! (Enemies)

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, this for my bro!  
> The weirdest ideas usually come at night xD  
> Short info: In this situation, Kylo is NOT having his helmet with him, otherwise it wouldn't make much sense.  
> Have fun!

Hux was running.  
He was running for his life, endless running through the endless hallways of Starkiller Base.  
It was the worst day of his life and now he had to run like a madman.  
He hated running so much ...  
But he ran anyways, he had no other choice and somehow, he managed to make this horrible day even worse ... by bumping into the last person one would want to bump into:  
Kylo Ren.

"What the-"

But there was no time for explanations.  
Hux already heard her steps echoing from the walls.  
The sound of her metallic boots were coming closer and closer.  
He looked at Kylo and without wasting a single thought about the consequences of his actions, he grabbed Ren's coat and pulled him through the next door he could see.  
Unfortunately, this door led to a small storage room. Unbearably small for two grown men.  
The door closed behind them and there they were, crouched into this dark place with their worst enemy.

"Hux!", Kylo hissed at the General.  
"Is there an explanation for this absolutely insane behavior? If yes, now would be the perfect time to tell me!"

Hux' face was distorted in fear, he was exhausted from running and breathing heavily.  
His eyes wandered from the door next to him, back to Kylo, back to the door.  
He could still hear her footsteps and his heart felt like it would jump out of his chest any second.  
But at least hearing her walk down the hallways meant that she hadn't reached their position yet.

"Kylo, please ...", he stuttered. "If you don't stay quiet, this will be my last day on this base, maybe even my last day in this universe!"

Kylo rolled his eyes.  
"Hux, you're such a drama queen", and that was it for him.  
He had other matters to attend to ... like swinging his lightsaber, badgering stormtroopers, breaking stuff ... Very important matters!  
So he decided to leave as quickly as possible. 

As he reached for the door in an attempt to open it and step out of this nonsense, Hux stopped him immediatly and even dared to put a hand on Kylo's mouth in order to silence him.

Kylo was so close to force choking Hux until his face would turn red, then blue and maybe even purple. So. Close.

But then he heard it as well. Steps.  
It was a loud clacking on the hard floor, metal against metal.  
And it stopped right in front of the door.

Kylo mentally checked his list of all the people on Starkiller Base that were able to sound like that and scare the living shit out of General Hux.  
One that could evoke fear and respect in the minds of every man and woman in existence.  
And there was only one conclusion:  
Phasma.

Kylo looked down to Hux who was shaking uncontrollably and he suddenly felt sympathy for the poor man that would soon be nothing more than a pile of dust under Phasma's heavy boots.  
At least if she got a hold of him.

He harshly pulled Hux' hand away from his mouth.  
Hux looked at him with sheer terror in his eyes.  
He was scared to death and he had every right to be.

Kylo quickly decided that he would not deliver Hux to Phasma, even though it would mean crushing his greatest rival without having to perform the lethal strike himself.  
He too much enjoyed having something on him. Something that might be of use at a later time.

But first, he had to confirm it was really Phasma they were dealing with and not some crazy ex-girlfriend - did Hux ever mention something like a girlfriend?  
Kylo couldn't remember, but that didn't mean that it wasn't the case.  
Their relationship was not of the kind where one would pay the other a visit to his private quarters where they would talk about their feelings and braid each other's hair.  
That would have been utterly ridiculous.

"Phasma?", Kylo simply asked as quietly as he could.

Hux nodded frantically. One more nod and his head might have fallen off.

Kylo couldn't help but smile over this man that has always wanted to go so big and now had shrunken so small in fear of an angry woman.  
And Kylo was the one to decide whether he would help this poor man or push him further into his misery.  
A thought he clearly enjoyed.

"What did you do to her?", he asked.  
He was indeed curious what could draw Phasma out of her cold and controlled facade.  
That piece of information might also be valuable some day.

"I ... might have told her that she was an incompetent annoyance and ... that she should steer clear of my work until she had learned her proper place on this base ..."

Wow, that was rude. Even for Hux.  
He must have been really mad.  
But still, losing his temper in front of Phasma? Not a good idea, not at all.

"You know there are easier ways to commit suicide? And also less painful ones ..."

"I know that it was stupid, no need to tell me!"

Hux looked like he was close to breaking out in tears. It was pathetic.

Kylo quickly thought about his options here.  
He had already crossed out surrendering Hux to Phasma's mercy, but the idea was still kind of appealing.  
And yet, the risk of drawing Phasma's rage to him as soon as she was done with Hux was no risk Kylo was willing to take.  
So instead, he decided that he would mimic the understanding colleague, offering his words of advice to his friend in need.

"Maybe you should go to Snoke ..."

"And then what? Tell him about my problems? Seriously, Kylo? Has that ever worked out for you?"

"Nah, not really ..."

"See!"

"Alright, alright ... then maybe you should simply apologize?"

"Apolo- ARE YOU NUTS?! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT WOMAN?! She'd kill me anyway, maybe make it even more painful if I tried to APOLOGIZE to her like a schoolboy!"

"FINE, then don't apologize! But whatever you want to do, do it fast! It's getting hot in here and my robes consist of approximately 19 layers of cloth ..." 

That didn't work out very well.  
But the last one was actually true. The heat in the small room had reached a level that was almost too much to bear for the Knight of Ren who was already sweating.  
His outfit might have been useful in battle or in training - and it was stylish as fuck! - but now he wished for something lighter and thinner.  
He hoped that this absurd situation wouldn't last any longer than necessary as undressing was not an option. Not in that room, not in front of Hux.

But Hux didn't seem like he would come up with an idea any time soon.  
He was still shaking in fear and his face was pale as a sheet of paper.

"General Hux, would you please stop whimpering like a child that's been beaten and be a man for fuck' sake? It's annoying me."

"Well SORRY for being scared to death because I could actually DIE today, Ren! I'd like to see you in a situation like this for a change OH WAIT I already did! Can you remember when -"

"Don't you fucking dare, Hux. I'm warning you only one single time ..."

Kylo knew exactly what Hux was referring to. And he hated that man for reminding him of that day.  
There was this one time when ... No, he did NOT want to think about that mistake again, it was just this once!  
He felt the urge to wrap his own hands around the General's neck. No Force tricks, just good old-fashioned, pure violence ... but no, that wouldn't change a thing.  
He would show no weakness in front of Hux. He would not lose the upper hand in this situation that was clearly turned against the General, not him.  
So instead, he pulled off the most twisted smile he had to offer.  
The effect on the General was what he had expected, he immediatly fell silent and backed down half a step. More than that was not possible in their current situation. 

Kylo casually leaned against the shelf behind him, also trying to increase the distance between him and Hux.  
There had to be a way they both could get out of here without killing each other or getting killed by Phasma.  
Because one of those things would certainly happen if none of them came up with a plan.

Meanwhile, Phasma was already miles away from that little storage room. She had work to do and Hux would show up sooner or later.  
She would wait for that moment and while doing so, she would come up with a plan to make Hux pay for his insolence. 

Neither Hux nor Kylo noticed that they were already out of danger.  
They were too much engulfed in their anger for each other.

"I hate being in here with you, Ren", Hux suddenly hissed at Kylo, clenching his teeth while speaking.

"Oh really? YOU were the one who pulled me into this mess, remember? And now it's my fault we're in here?"

"I didn't say it was your fault, I just said ..."

"Oh I know perfectly well what you said, but if you don't shut up right now, I will ..."

"You will what, kill me? Well, get in line then, you're not the first and you won't be the last!"

"I wonder why that might be NO WAIT, it's because you're an asshole!"

That was enough.  
His day has already been horrible so far, he didn't need to listen to those insults!  
Before realizing what he was about to do, he jumped right at Kylo, swinging his right fist with all the force he could bring up, hitting the Knight of Ren directly in the face.  
Kylo was startled, but just for brief moment and he soon jumped at Hux as well in an attempt to push him to the floor. But Hux evaded his attack, wrapping his arms around Kylo's neck in order to bring him down to his level.  
Kylo struggled to get out of Hux' grip, the General was stronger than he had expected.  
They were hitting each other in every place they could reach, shoulders and and ribs and also stomach. It looked more like a bar fight than two trained members of the First Order fighting against each other.  
They twisted and turned as much as they could, trying to get the upper hand in their squabbling and they eventually hit the door with all of their weight combined.  
The hinges broke almost instantly and they fell out of the storage room, still entangled and growling at each other.

And that was exactly what the two stormtroopers were seeing as they walked around the corner, entering the hallway in which Kylo was still pressing Hux to the ground.  
Kylo on top of Hux, faces flushed, breathing heavily, oh how wrong all of this looked like ... 

Kylo was the first to notice the intruders and immediatly realized what he and Hux were doing and what the patrol might think that they were doing and oh shit he had to get away from Hux, now!  
He jumped up and rearranged his robes and hair in a poor attempt to wipe away the awkwardness of the situation.  
But before one could say a word, the two soldiers turned on their heels and ran away. All Hux and Kylo could do was angrily glancing at each other and hoping that the two intruders were too scared of them to tell about what they have seen ...

In fact, they were not.  
And unfortunately, nothing spreads as fast as rumors of a secret affair, especially on Starkiller Base.  
Phasma chuckled. Those two idiots had managed to pull off a better revenge plan on themselves than she could ever have thought of.


End file.
